Library › St John of Kronstadt › My Life in Christ

My Life in Christ

St John of Kronstadt, tr. Goulaeff, 1897

Part 1, 6. pp. 101–120

Our faith and Church is like a most honoured, holy, godly, firm, venerable woman, who never grows old, and in whom ever dwells a young, living spirit, giving life to her true children. As we always behave with great respect to old people, honouring their grey hair and wisdom — the fruits of experience — and highly value each of their words, and apply them to our own life, so ought we especially to honour the Church, venerate her holiness, antiquity, her unshaken firmness, her divinely enlightened wisdom and spiritual experience, her soul-saving commandments and ordinances, her divine services, sacraments and rites. How can we do otherwise than respect her, even if only for having saved in her bosom an innumerable multitude of people, transplanting them into the abode of eternal peace and joy, not forgetting them even after their death, but remembering them until now upon earth, eternally praising and glorifying their virtues as her true children? Where will you find a more grateful friend, a more tender mother? And therefore, may Christians attach themselves wholly and with all their hearts to the Church of Christ, that they may be firmly established unto the end of their temporal life! May they all be zealous of the fulfilment of all her commandments and ordinances, and may they obtain in her eternal salvation through Christ Jesus our Lord!

In accordance with God’s most wise order in this world, one thing precedes another, and one is changed into another: dishonour and honour, poverty and wealth, health and sickness. Before bestowing wealth upon anyone, God often tries him by extreme poverty, depriving, on the other hand, the rich of everything; before honour, by dishonour; and those raised to honour, by humiliation, so that we may learn to value God’s gifts, and not be proud in our prosperity, knowing that it is the gift of the Master, undeserved by us.

It is necessary to rouse the heart to pray, otherwise it will become quite dry. The attributes of prayer must be: love of God, sincerity, and simplicity. We must pray in spirit, because God is a spirit, and not flesh; with truth, and not falsely, because God is the truth. The same may be said in regard to prayers to the saints. Do not call upon them only with the lips — for they have neither lips nor voice, nothing corporeal — but with your heart or soul burning within you. Then they will hear you; for everything seeks that which is akin to it. Yes; not flesh and blood will inherit the kingdom of God, but the pure spirit burning with love to God.

“Quench not the spirit,”¹ says the Word of God. Let every Christian, especially every priest and instructor of children, remember this. We who are priests must especially burn with the spirit in our high service to God and mankind. How much we might have done for God, for men, and for ourselves, if we had applied ourselves to our work with faith and love, zealously, warmly, energetically! And how little, dry, fruitless, will be our service if we do our work indolently, slothfully, coldly, without any zeal and energy! We shall have much to answer for before God, both for ourselves and for those intrusted to our care.

Watch yourself when a poor man, needing help, asks it of you. The enemy will endeavour at that time to chill your heart, and fill it with indifference, and even scorn, towards him that is in want. Overcome in yourself these un-Christian and inhuman dispositions; incite your heart to compassionate love towards this man like unto you in all respects, to this member of Christ and your own — “for we are members one of another”² — to this temple of the Holy Ghost, in order that Christ the Lord may love and help you too; and, whatever the needy may ask of you, fulfil his request according to your power. “Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.”³

Pronounce the words of the prayer with heartfelt firmness. When praying in the evening, do not forget to confess in prayer to the Holy Ghost with all sincerity and contrition, those sins into which you have fallen during the past day. A few moments of fervent repentance, and you will be cleansed by the Holy Ghost from every impurity; you will be whiter than snow, and tears, purifying the heart will flow from your eyes; you will be covered with the garment of Christ’s righteousness and united to Him, together with the Father and the Holy Ghost.

Spiritual poverty consists in esteeming oneself as though not existing, and God alone as existing; in honouring His words above everything in the world, and in not sparing anything to fulfil them, even one’s own life; in considering God’s Will in everything, both for ourselves and others, entirely renouncing our own will. The man who is poor in spirit desires and says with his whole heart: “Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy Will be done in earth as it is in heaven.” It is as though he himself disappears; everywhere and in everything he wishes to see God — in himself and in others. “Let everything be Thine, not mine.” He wishes to contemplate God’s holiness in himself and in all — His kingdom, also His Will; also to see Him alone entirely filling the human heart, as it should be, because He alone is All-merciful and All-perfect, All-creating; whilst the enemy — the Devil and his instruments, and those who oppose God — are thieves in the kingdom of God, and adversaries of God. To him who is poor in spirit the whole world is as nothing. Everywhere he sees God alone giving life to everything, and ruling everything; for him there is no place without God, no moment without God; everywhere and at every minute he is with God, and as though with Him alone. He who is poor in spirit does not dare and does not think of trying to comprehend the incomprehensible, to discover God’s mysteries, to philosophise on the highest; he believes in the single word of the Lord, the Life-giver, knowing that every word of His is truth, spirit, and eternal life; and in the words of His Church, ever instructed in all truth by the Holy Ghost, he believes as a child believes his father or mother, not requiring proofs, but perfectly relying upon them. He who is poor in spirit considers himself the very last and the most sinful of all, reckons himself worthy of being trampled under foot by everyone.

How vividly God’s Saints represented God to themselves! — the Saints who through the Holy Ghost compiled prayers for their own and our guidance. In what fear and trembling they stood before God in prayer, but also with what love and hope! Every word of their prayers says: “God is with us; and God within us hears each of our words, sees every thought, every wish, every tear.”

Sometimes we stand praying in church or at home, in a state of spiritual and bodily prostration; then powerless, cold, unfruitful is our soul, like some heathen, unfruitful temple; but as soon as we make an effort, and force our heart to sincere prayer to God, turn our thoughts and heart towards Him with living faith, our soul immediately becomes vivified, warm, and fruitful. What sudden tranquillity, what lightness, what emotion, what inward holy fire, what tears for our sins, what a sincere feeling of sorrow that by them we have displeased the Most-merciful Master; what light in the heart and mind, what an abundant stream of living water is diffused in the heart, flowing freely from the tongue, or from the pen and pencil, if we are writing, upon the paper! The wilderness of the soul blossoms like a lily at the coming of the Lord into the heart. O, why do we not turn our hearts oftener towards the Lord? How much peace and comfort ever lie concealed in Him for us! “Oh how great is Thy goodness, which Thou hast laid up for them that fear Thee!”⁴

How artful and watchful a bird is! It does not let itself be caught in God’s wide world, but when it sees anybody approaching and wishing to seize it, it immediately flies up from the earth and thus saves itself from the fowlers. So, also, the Christian must be wise and watchful in order that the incorporeal fowler may not catch his soul. Our soul is like a heavenly bird; the Devil, a wicked fowler, seeking to devour souls. As the bird, flying up to heaven, thus saves itself from the fowler, so likewise we, when we see the enemy — the Devil — striving to catch our soul by means of earthly things, must immediately forsake these things with all our heart, and must not for a moment attach ourselves to them, but must fly up in our thoughts to Jesus Christ, our Saviour, and thus we shall easily be delivered “from the snare of the fowler.”⁵

The way to succeed in any good work. When you are praying at home, at evening, or at morning prayer, or in the church during Divine service, be solicitous in your heart to accomplish this particular good work, and heartily desire to fulfil it to the glory of God. The Lord and His Most-pure Mother will unfailingly teach you, will instil in your heart some bright idea how to accomplish it. If you wish to write a discourse or a sermon, and do not know what to write about, if there is no living water in your heart, you have only to be solicitous of this during your prayer. The Lord and His Most-pure Mother will unfailingly and clearly show you the subject for your sermon and its parts, and your mind and heart will be enlightened by a clear knowledge of all sides of the subject.

Thank God every day with your whole heart for having given to you life according to His image and likeness — an intelligently free and immortal life. Especially thank God for having restored and guided you again unto life eternal after you had fallen into eternal death, and for having done so not simply by the action of His omnipotence, for this would not have been in conformity to His justice, but by having given for our redemption His only begotten Son, Who suffered and died for us. Thank Him also for again daily bestowing life upon you, who have fallen an innumerable multitude of times, by your own free will, through sins, from life into death, and that He does so as soon as you only say from your whole heart: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before Thee!”⁶ Thank Him also for often delivering you from sickness, you who imprudently throw yourself into danger and sickness, the precursors of bodily death, for correcting your faults, and for not depriving you of earthly life, knowing that it is dear to you, and that you are not yet ready for the future, eternal life. Thank Him for all your means of existence, for all the joys and sorrows of life; for everything is from Him, the All-merciful Father; everything comes from the First Origin of Life, Who has apportioned and lent life to all.

That man is of a noble and elevated spirit who mercifully and generously scatters his gifts upon all, and rejoices when he has an opportunity of doing good and giving pleasure to everybody without thinking of being rewarded for it. That man is of a noble and elevated spirit who never grows conceited and haughty towards those who frequent him and avail themselves of his bounties, does not neglect them in any respect, does not underrate them in any degree in his thoughts, but esteems them as he esteemed them at their first meeting with him, or much higher than at that time. As it is, it often happens that we grow conceited and proud towards those who have become ours, and, having become accustomed to them, speedily grow tired of them, and reckon them as nothing: we often place a man lower than a beloved animal or a beloved object.

It is sometimes well during prayer to say a few words of our own, breathing fervent faith and love to the Lord. Yes, let us not always converse with God in the words of others, not always remain children in faith and hope; we must also show our own mind, indite a good matter from our own heart also.⁷ Moreover, we grow too much accustomed to the words of others and grow cold in prayer. And how pleasing to the Lord this lisping of our own is, coming directly from a believing, loving, and thankful heart. It is impossible to explain this: it is only needful to say that when you are praying to God with your own words the soul trembles with joy, it becomes wholly inflamed, vivified, and beatified. You will utter few words, but you will experience such blessedness as you would not have obtained from saying the longest and most touching prayers of others, pronounced out of habit and insincerely.

When you ask anything of the Lord, immediately contemplate His merciful and generous Right Hand, bestowing upon you His gifts, for it is His Right Hand that has given, and still gives, from God’s abundance, everything to all, and consider as foolishness any doubt whether you will or will not obtain that which you ask for — a foolishness similar to that of which the Psalmist said, “The fool hath said in his heart: there is no God.”⁸ Thus, in asking any good and generous man for help, we represent to ourselves beforehand his outstretched hand; for earthly benefactors, after the example of their All-merciful Father, are merciful and generous, and give us that which we ask them for immediately after our request, as it is said: “What man is there of you, whom if his son shall ask bread, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father, Which is in heaven, give good things to them that ask Him?”⁹

When you experience oppressive waywardness of heart and unbelief in respect to any object of faith, then know that the enemy is in your heart, and that he mocks at your ignorance, your weakness, and your inconstancy in faith. Sincerely condemn at once your foolishness, your blindness, your sinful inconstancy in faith, and your ingratitude to God, for the former light of your heart and former benefits, received by you through faith in that object (for instance, in the relics of the saints) which your heart in its sinful obstinacy now denies, or in which it does not now believe as it formerly believed, and the Master will have mercy upon you; your anguish will cease, and you will be at rest. O, the enemy wishes that even in matters of faith everything should be in accordance with his falsehood!

The new man (regenerate) finds pleasure in obedience, whilst the old man wishes to resist and obey. Therefore, O Lord, Thy Will be done. I accept, as an expression of Thy Will, all that is required of me by the authorities set over me, all that others do to me (patience), all that happens to me, for nothing happens without Thee. Thou art in everything, throughout all and everything.

God is a spiritual Being from Whom everything has received its existence, and without Whom nothing can be imagined; in Whom everything has its origin, continuation, life, and preservation; Who is infinitely greater than any time and space; Who never had either beginning nor ending; before Whom everything is as though it did not exist, Who is wholly everywhere; Who is not restricted either by any space or any atom, nor mountain, nor heavenly body, nor sea, nor air, nor fire, nor earth; Who Himself eternally fills all space, and Who Himself by His Power keeps in existence everything that exists, Who is in every place, in every unimaginable point of space, and Himself unlimitedly contains every space — in a word, God is that Which Is, that is to say, as it were, alone existing, the One Who Is.

If, during service, your brother does anything irregularly, or somewhat negligently, do not become irritated, either inwardly or outwardly with him, but be generously indulgent to his fault, remembering that during your life you yourself commit many, many faults, that you yourself are a man with all infirmities, that God is long-suffering and most merciful, and that he forgives you and all of us our iniquities an innumerable multitude of times. Remember the words of the Lord’s Prayer: “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us.” These words should always remind us that we ourselves at all times are great trespassers, great sinners before God, and that, remembering this, we should be humble in the depths of our hearts, and not be very severe to the faults of our brethren, weak like ourselves; that as we do not judge ourselves severely, we must not judge others severely, for our brethren are — our members, like ourselves. Irritability of temper proceeds from want of self-knowledge, from pride, and also from the fact that we do not consider the great corruption of our nature, and know but little the meek and humble Jesus.

God tries the various sinful attachments of our hearts in different ways: one, the miserly, He tries by the loss of his money or his property, or a part of it, allowing thieves to steal, or brigands to rob him; another by fire, or inundation; another by useless expenditure through unsuccessful business affairs; another by illness and expenses for medicines and doctors connected with the illness; another by the loss of wife, sister, or friend; another by dishonour. He tries all in different ways, in order to disclose to each the weak diseased parts of his heart, and to teach each one to correct himself. In many a sword shall pierce through their own soul that the thoughts of their hearts may be revealed.¹⁰ Therefore, whatever loss may have occurred to your property, believe that it is the will of God, and say: “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”¹¹

Why does a man sometimes suddenly get into such a frenzy that he becomes violently angered, speaks quickly, abruptly and incoherently, wrings his hands, tears his hair, or in his passion strikes others, foolishly breaks everything that falls into his hands, and behaves like a madman, or like one infuriated? Evidently because in his heart the subcelestial spirits of evil are working, instigating men to every wickedness, and breathing evil and destruction upon all and everything. Why are there both suicides of all kinds, as well as murderers of others? From the working of the immemorial suicide and murderer — the Devil — in the hearts of suicides and murderers. This is why Christ, the Saviour, and the Christian religion command everyone to have that meekness and humility which do not allow the spirits of evil and pride, seeking the death of all and each one, to work in the hearts of true Christians. The Lord says: “Learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart.”¹² The wrath of man is a terrible unnatural phenomenon in a man; it is often aroused in the heart by the most unimportant causes — mostly through the self-love or pride concealed in our heart. We must remember that “The wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”¹³

For him who truly believes in God, all material earthly things and all visible worlds, as it were, vanish; he cannot imagine a point of space without God; everywhere he contemplates the One Infinite Being — God. He represents to himself that with every breath of air he breathes God; for him the Lord is everywhere and in everything, and creatures as though they did not exist, while he himself willingly vanishes mentally in order to give place also in himself to the one God, Who alone is, and Who works within him in everything.

Sometimes, just when we begin to delight in the Lord, the enemy soon after, either himself or through men, brings the greatest sorrow upon us. Such is the lot of those who are labouring in this life for the Lord. For instance, you have just received peace and joy in the cup of the Lord, and sometimes immediately after the service a fiery temptation assails you, and with it the affliction connected with it; even at the very Cup the enemy sets his snares for you and disturbs you by various thoughts, against which you must fight, or else, knowing that you have wished for a long, long time to find rest in God, the enemy will not allow it. As long as the passions still work in us, as long as the old man lives and is not dead within us, until then much sorrow must befall us from various temptations in life and from the struggles between the old man and the new.

Great encouragement, consolation and hope are afforded to those who pray by the following reassuring words of the Lord: “Ask, and it shall be given you....” and further, “What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?”¹⁴ If anyone asks me anything, and I, though evil and corrupt by nature, listen to his requests, his words moving my heart to compassion and help, and my hand to giving, then will not my words, my most sincere prayer, move the Fount of mercies, the Lover of mankind, to have mercy upon me and help me, I, who am a sinner, but still His creature, and the work of His hands? If earthly fathers are merciful, will not the Heavenly Father be still more merciful? If I am merciful, will not God, the source of all mercy, be still more merciful? “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?”¹⁵ Let your faith and hope in God be strengthened by the earthly relations of fathers to their children. For all of us are the children of the Father which is in heaven, Who is in truth the one Father of all creatures.

When you feel that there is no peace in your heart, through an undue partiality towards anything earthly and worldly, and that, besides this, the heart breathes irritability and malice, be immediately on your guard, and do not let your heart be filled with the devilish fire. Pray fervently, and strengthen by the power of God your passionate, impatient heart. Be firmly assured that the evil is kindled in your heart by the enemy; he chiefly assaults the heart through a full stomach. This is from experience.

When you go to visit any of your relations or friends, do not go to their house in order to eat and drink well, but go there in order to take part in friendly and sincere conversation with them, to refresh your soul from worldly vanities by friendly and loving intercourse, to be mutually comforted by your common faith. For “I seek not yours, but you,”¹⁶ says the Apostle.

Charity, it is said, “rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”¹⁷ It often happens to us to see the unrighteous sinful doings of men, or to hear of them, and we have a sinful habit of rejoicing at such doings, and of shamelessly expressing our joy by foolish laughter. This is wrong, unchristian, uncharitable and impious. It shows that we have not Christian love for our neighbour in our hearts: for charity “rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”¹⁸ Let us, therefore, cease doing this, so that we may not be condemned with the workers of iniquity.

Do not breathe malice, vengeance, and murder even towards animals, lest your own soul should be given up to death by the spiritual enemy breathing wickedness in you even towards dumb animals, and lest you should become accustomed to breathe malice and vengeance against men also. Remember, that animals are called to life by God’s mercy that they may enjoy their existence as much as they can during their short life. “The Lord is good to all.”¹⁹ Do not beat them, if they are unreasonable, or if they play tricks, or if any of your property is damaged by them. “Blessed is the man who is merciful to his beast.”

When holy peace reigns in my soul, then surely the King of Peace dwells within me, the Lord Jesus Christ, with the Father, and the Holy Ghost, and then especially I ought to be full of feelings of gratitude to the Lord of Peace, and endeavour with all my strength to preserve this peace within me by means of fervent prayer and by abstaining from every sin, both inward and outward.

The Comforter, the Holy Ghost, who fills the whole universe, passes through all believing, meek, humble, good, and simple human souls, dwelling in them, vivifying and strengthening them. He becomes one spirit with them and everything to them — light, strength, peace, joy, success in their undertakings, especially in a pious life, and everything good — “going through all understanding, pure and most subtil spirits.”²⁰ “We have been all made to drink into one Spirit.”²¹ All pious people are filled with the Spirit of God similarly as a sponge is filled with water.

When you walk in a forest, garden, or meadow, and see the young shoots of the plants, the fruits on the trees, and the variety of the flowers of the field, learn a lesson from God’s plants — namely, the lesson that every tree each summer unfailingly puts forth at least one shoot of considerable size, and unfailingly grows in height and dimensions. It seems as though every tree endeavours each year to advance by the strength that God has given it; therefore, say to yourself, “I, too, must each day, each year, absolutely grow higher and higher morally, better and better, more and more perfect; must advance on the road to the Kingdom of Heaven, or to the Father which is in Heaven, through the strength of our Lord Jesus Christ and His Spirit dwelling and working within me. As the field is adorned by a multitude of flowers, so should the field of my own soul be adorned by all the flowers of virtue; as the trees bring forth flowers and afterwards fruit, so must my soul bring forth the fruits of faith and good works.”

Do not passionately care for your flesh; do not cherish it; do not gratify it; and do not strengthen it against the spirit. Otherwise, when it is necessary to labour in spirit — for instance, to pray or write a spiritually moral work — you will find that the flesh has overpowered the spirit and has bound it hand and foot. The flesh overthrows all the impulses of the spirit, and will not let it rise and come to its full power. The spirit will then be the slave of the flesh.

Our love for God or for our neighbour will especially show itself, and its purity, strength, and constancy will be revealed when there is a contrary power (of the Devil) struggling and acting like fire in our hearts, and endeavouring to implant aversion, antagonism, contempt, hatred, and enmity in our hearts. Love is strengthened within us when the opposing forces endeavour, so to say, to uproot it, whilst we struggle in every way against these opposing forces, and by our struggle with the enemy purify, raise, and strengthen our love. It is in reward for this constant battle out of love for God and our neighbour, for this firmness, for this fiery, stubborn, constant, invisible war against the sub-celestial spirits of evil, that God weaves the shining heavenly crowns for the wrestlers of love for God and their neighbour. In this respect holy ascetics, known as the Holy Fathers, are worthy of thousands of crowns. They, out of love for God, forsook the world and all that is in the world; they went away into desert, uninhabited places, and there, shut up in their cells, they spent all their life in thinking of God, in prayer, in renouncing their own will, in fasting, watching, labouring, and in doing great deeds for the love of God, enduring during their whole life the assaults of the opposing forces, endeavouring by every means to shake their faith and trust in God, and especially their love for Him. To fight, for the love of God, against our own flesh and the Devil — that crafty, mighty, and evil enemy — not for some hours, days, and months, but for many years, sometimes sixty or seventy — is not this worthy of crowns? And what, in comparison with these ascetics, or Holy Fathers, are men living in the world, falling so often into sin even without being assaulted, and defeated by their own flesh without even being attacked? What in comparison to holy ascetics are worldly men, living in accordance with their own will, in luxury, in the pleasures of every kind, gorgeously apparelled and living delicately,²² given over to pride, ambition, envy, hatred, avarice, irritability, wrath, revenge, amusements, fornication, drunkenness — to all possible vices, although not all in the same person? They are caught alive, without any resistance, in the power of the Devil, and therefore he does not attack them, but leaves them long entangled in his nets in the peace and self-forgetfulness that precede death.

Remember the words of the Scripture: “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”²³ People offend you, irritate you, breathe contempt and malice against you; do not repay them in the same way, but be gentle, meek, and kind, respectful and loving towards those very persons who behave unworthily to you. If you are agitated yourself, and speak excitedly, rudely, contemptuously — that is, unlovingly — then you will be vanquished yourself, and those who offend you will have the right to say, “Physician, heal thyself,”²⁴ or “Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?... First cast out the beam out of thine own eye.”²⁵ Do not wonder, then, if the affronts of those who offend you are often repeated, for they will notice your weakness and will irritate you intentionally. “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”²⁶ Show the one who offends you that he has not offended you, but himself; pity him heartily for being so easily overcome by his passions — for being spiritually sick; and the more rude and irritated he is, the more hatred he nourishes towards you, the more meekness and love you must show him. Then you will surely conquer him. Good is always stronger than evil, and therefore always conquers. Remember also that we are all weak, are very easily overcome by passions, and therefore be meek and indulgent to those who sin against you, knowing that you yourself often suffer from the same infirmity as your brother. Forgive those who trespass against you, so that God may forgive your trespasses, incomparably greater than the trespasses of others against you. Be always calm, lofty in spirit, unsuspicious, firm, simple, and kind-hearted, and you will always triumph over your enemies. “He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame. Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.”²⁷

Sometimes the enemy uses his wiles against us in such a manner that when we see any sin or vice in our brother, or in society, he strikes our heart with indifference and coldness and reluctance, or rather with shameful cowardice, to say a firm, accusatory word against the iniquity, to break the horn of the sinner. Christ, my King! give me apostolic zeal and the fire of the Holy Ghost in my heart, so that I may ever boldly rise up against insolent vice, especially against the vice that corrupts many; and may I not spare anyone, both for the sake of their own salvation and that of the rest of Thy people, in order that they should not be seduced, seeing the overflow of vice, and that they should not themselves fall! “Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in Me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea,”²⁸ “For the Son of Man is come to save that which was lost.”²⁹

When the foolish thought of counting up any of your good works enters into your head, immediately correct your fault and rather count up your sins, your continual and innumerable offences against the All-merciful and Righteous Master, and you will find that their number is as the sand of the sea, whilst your virtues in comparison with them are as nothing.

When your heart is struck by avarice, say to yourself: “My life is Christ, the Beloved of all. He is my inexhaustible wealth, my inexhaustible food, my inexhaustible drink. Our blind flesh dreams of finding life in food and in money, and bears ill-will against those who deprive it of these material means of life. But be firmly persuaded that your life is not money and food, but mutual love for the sake of love for God. Remember that God is Love, uniting all things animated by the laws of love, and bringing forth life from the union of love.

When praying, keep to the rule that it is better to say five words from the depth of your heart than ten thousand words with your tongue only. When you observe that your heart is cold and prays unwillingly, stop praying and warm your heart by vividly representing to yourself either your own wickedness, your spiritual poverty, misery, and blindness, or the great benefits which God bestows every moment upon you and all mankind, especially upon Christians, and then pray slowly and fervently. If you have not time to say all the prayers, it does not matter, and you will receive incomparably greater benefit from praying fervently and not hurriedly than if you had said all your prayers hurriedly and without feeling: “I had rather speak five words with my understanding than ten thousand words in an unknown tongue.”³⁰ But it would, of course, have been very well had we been able to say these ten thousand words in prayer with due understanding and feeling. The Lord does not forsake those who labour for Him and who stand long before Him; for with what measure they mete, He will measure to them again, and He will reward them for the abundance of the sincere words of their prayer by sending into their souls a corresponding abundance of spiritual light, warmth, peace, and joy. It is well to pray long and continually; but “All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.”³¹ It is better for those who are not capable of long prayers to say short prayers, but with a fervent spirit.

In the perpetual miracle of the transubstantiation of the bread and wine into the true Body and Blood of Christ united with His Divinity and soul, I see the miracle of the perpetual quickening of man by the divine breathing, and of his creation into a living soul. It is written: “And man became a living soul,”³² but upon the Holy Altar the bread and wine, after their transubstantiation become not only a living soul, but a quickening spirit.³³ And this is all accomplished before my eyes; and I experience it both with my soul and my body, feeling it vividly. My God! How terrible are the mysteries which Thou createst! Of what unspeakable Mysteries hast Thou made me the witness and partaker! Glory to Thee, my Creator! Glory to Thee, Creator of the Body and Blood of Christ!

Even the saints of God were at times seized with diabolical despair and despondency. What, therefore, can we sinners expect? O, the enemy often wounds us by the wrath, humiliation, and cruel despondency of the heart! We must continually turn to God and be every moment with Him, in order that we may not be besieged with the wrath and despondency of the enemy. There are other means besides of escaping from them — the broad way of the world; only if you give yourself up to worldly pleasures, despondency will leave you for a time, at least while the pleasures last. But afterwards you will be captivated by these pleasures; they will become a necessity to you, and you will find comfort and joy in them, and in them alone; but may God preserve every Christian from finding his only way of escape from the despondency of the Devil through such means! It is better to walk in the narrow path, to patiently bear despondency, and to seek frequent help and deliverance from the Lord Jesus Christ, Who always rejoices those labouring for their salvation for His sake, than to enter on the broad and smooth way of the world and purchase there, by means of the pleasures of the flesh, freedom from the spirit of despondency. By means of this spirit of despondency the enemy has driven many from the narrow path of salvation on to the broad, smooth path which leads to destruction.

You are praying, your prayer is successfully accomplished, and you have inward proof that the Lord hears it and deigns to receive it favourably; your thoughts are at peace, you feel lightness and sweetness in your heart; but at the end of your prayer, through some slight infirmity of your heart and thoughts, a heavy burden falls on your heart, a weakening fire, and you feel an extreme difficulty in praying, and even an aversion to it, instead of the former lightness and inclination to prayer. Do not despair, friend; these are only the snares of the enemy, who loves to mock at us, especially at the end of our pious employment, so that we may fall into despondency and consider all our previous labours in the holy work lost. Learn from this in future not to extinguish your spirit even for a moment during your prayer; pray in spirit and truth, unremittingly, and not flattering the Lord during prayer by one single word — that is, not pronouncing a single word feignedly, hypocritically; let your prayer be only the expression of truth, the mouthpiece of the Holy Ghost, and do not let it serve by a single word the enemy’s lie, nor be in any way the organ of the Devil. And to release your soul from his heavy load and to extinguish his fire, pray fervently to God, heartily confessing your fault before Him — your hypocrisy during prayer — and you will obtain relief and peace. Do not hurry; say and do everything calmly. You will succeed. It is the enemy who hurries and disturbs us, for there is no sense in confused hurry.

“Our Father! Thy kingdom come.” The Lord reigns everywhere, in the whole visible world (being in every place) and in all the angelic hosts. He also reigns by his infinite Power and Truth over the spirits of evil, and over evil and unrighteous men. Some of them He has bound in everlasting chains of darkness for judgment at the great day, and others he punishes in various ways in this life, and will punish in the future life with inextinguishable fire. But He, the Truth, does not reign in demons and in unrighteous men by His truth, because falsehood is in them; He does not reign in them by His love, because malice is in them; He does not reign in the unrighteous by faith, neither by hope, but He reigns in them by the strict fulfilment of His laws. “Why call ye Me Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?”³⁴ “Keep My commandments.”³⁵ He reigns in every action of my body and soul, even in the smallest (for instance, in speech), for my body obeys His laws in feeding, repose, sleep, growth, and walking, and both thought and word are formed and move in accordance with His laws; but He does not always reign in my heart, in the inclinations of my heart and in my free-will. I frequently incline to evil and do evil, instead of the good offered to me. I often oppose Him and His laws. I am often incredulous, unbelieving, selfish, proud; I often despise others, envy others, am avaricious, covetous, sensual, gratifying my sinful flesh in every way; ambitious, impatient, irritable, slothful, doing few or no good works at all, and if any, more from a concurrence of favourable circumstances than from the free inclination and tendency of my heart; I do not pity those who suffer, as members of the one body of the Church — in a word, the Lord does not always reign in me by thoughts, feelings, and acts of faith, hope, and love.

We must pray that we may be constantly and firmly assured in our hearts that everything we have — both of soul and body, in prosperity and adversity, and all our possessions as well as all the circumstances of our life — come from God, from His Power, and not from nature, or chance, or from ourselves. If you cease praying to God, you will soon forget your Benefactor, Creator, and Lord, and in forgetting Him you will fall into every evil. Therefore, you see that prayer always brings you real benefit.

Both the spiritual and bodily powers of a man increase and become perfected and strengthened by their exercise. By exercising your hand in writing, sewing or knitting, you will accustom it to such work; by frequently exercising yourself in composition you will learn to write easily and well; by exercising yourself in doing good works or in conquering your passions and temptations, you will in time learn to do good works easily and with delight; and with the help of God’s all-active grace you will easily learn to conquer your passions. But if you cease writing, sewing, knitting, or if you only do so seldom, you will write, sew, and knit badly. If you do not exercise yourself in composition, or do so very seldom, if you live in the material cares of life only, it will probably become difficult for you to connect a few words together, especially upon spiritual subjects: the work set you will seem to you like an Egyptian labour, if you cease praying, or pray seldom; prayer will be oppressive to you. If you do not fight against your passions, or only do so seldom and feebly, you will find it very difficult to fight against them, you will often be conquered by them; they will give you no rest, and your life will be poisoned by them, if you do not learn how to conquer these evil, inward enemies, that settle in your heart. Therefore labour and activity are indispensable for all. Life without activity is not life, but something monstrous — a sort of phantom of life. This is why it is the duty of every man to fight continually and persistently against the slothfulness of the flesh. God preserve every Christian from indulging it! “They that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.”³⁶ “Unto everyone that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance; but from him that hath not, shall be taken away even that which he hath.”³⁷

A man who is wrathful with us is a sick man; we must apply a plaster to his heart — love; we must treat him kindly, speak to him gently, lovingly. And if there is not deeply-rooted malice against us within him, but only a temporary fit of anger, you will see how his heart, or his malice, will melt away through your kindness and love — how good will conquer evil. A Christian must always be kind, gracious, and wise in order to conquer evil by good.

If anyone has offended you, do not bear malice, and when he who has offended you looks kindly upon you and turns to speak to you, do not let your heart incline to evil, but talk pleasantly and good-humouredly to him, as if nothing had happened between you; learn to conquer evil by good, malice by kindness, meekness, and humility. Do not say in your heart to him who has offended you: “What! he speaks to me, after having offended me, counting his offence against me as nothing! I do not consider him worthy of speaking to me; I reject, despise him; let him learn what it is to offend me.” Do not be proud and bear malice. Do not say thus, lest the Lord be angered by your hard-heartedness.

All the material world is as nothing before God; only spiritual beings — that is, angels and men — are something. Only those creatures have a lasting existence who are near to God, and have His image and likeness; the remainder pass away like shadows — “Heaven and earth shall pass away, but My words shall not pass away.”³⁸

We must always remember that the Devil is continually trying to choke our soul with the dust of hell, of which there is already too much within us, and which is small and various; and thus, whether your heart be obscured by animosity, or impatience, or irritability, or by grudging your material possessions to your brother or yourself — that is, avarice — or by love of gain, or love of money, or by the quarrelsome and offensive words of others, or by despondency and despair, or by envy, doubt, or incredulity, or by open unbelief, or by vanity, or by slothfulness in prayer or in any good work, and in general in the performance of your duty, say to yourself with firm assurance: “This is the dust of the Devil; this is the darkness of hell.” By faith and hope in the Lord, by continual watchfulness over yourself, you will be able, with God’s help, to escape from this dust and darkness. “He that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.”³⁹

All my happiness and unhappiness are contained in the thoughts and inclinations of my heart. If the thoughts and inclinations of my heart are in accord with God’s truth or with the will of my God, then I am at rest, filled with divine light, joy, and blessedness; if not, I am uneasy, filled with spiritual, soul-corrupting darkness, heaviness, and despondency. If I completely change the false, impious thoughts and inclinations of my heart into true ones, pleasing to God, then I again obtain rest and blessedness.

My neighbour is a being with equal rights as myself, a man, like me also made after the image of God; and as he is the same as I am I must love him as I love myself. “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself,”⁴⁰ — therefore I must watch over him as over my own flesh and blood, behave lovingly, gently, and kindly to him, forgiving him his thoughts as I should willingly forgive myself my own, as I long for forgiveness or indulgence from others towards my own weaknesses — that is, that other people should not even notice them, as though they did not exist, or that they should notice them gently, kindly, pleasantly, and benevolently.

In order to communicate of the life-giving Sacrament with undoubting faith and to vanquish all the wiles, all the calumnies of the enemy, represent to yourself that that which is received by you from the Cup is “He Which is” — that is, alone existing. If the disposition of your thoughts and of heart is such, then by receiving the Holy Mysteries you will obtain peace, joy, and new life, and will recognise in your heart that the Lord truly and essentially dwells within you, and you in the Lord. This is from experience.

In praying to Our Lady, you call Her an abyss of mercies and bounties. Try yourself to be like Her, as far as lies in your power, in mercy and bountifulness in regard to those who have need of your mercy and bounties. Do not be angry with them, do not despise them, but love them the more they require your help. Consider their position clearly and soberly according to the teaching of the Gospel, often putting yourself in their place — and our Lady will multiply Her mercies upon you.

Your words are unequal: some vivify, and others slay your soul, or, perhaps, that of your neighbour. Therefore, it is said: “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt.”⁴¹ “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”⁴²

The incorporeal enemy enters the heart of man through satiety and drunkenness — this can be felt by anyone who is observant. This is the reason why, with the growth of drunkenness, the inclination to drunkenness increases so terribly (because the power of the enemy over the man increases) — this is why you notice in drunkards a power involuntarily drawing them to satisfy their passion or their inward craving for wine. The enemy is in the hearts of these unhappy people. How can the demon of drunkenness be driven out? By prayer and fasting. The enemy enters the hearts of men because they have given themselves up to a carnal mode of life — to gluttony, and because they do not pray. It is, therefore, natural that he can be driven out from them by opposite means — that is, by prayer and fasting.

What would it have been if God’s preventive grace had not been bestowed upon us; if it did not unexpectedly, suddenly embrace all our being after we have sinned, and incline our hearts to repentance and tears? What if it had been left to us to obtain it by our own efforts only? How accursed would we men then have been! Few, very few, could have been delivered from the burden of their sins, for our nature is slothful in exerting itself to effort, especially in the spiritual life; and without help, without powerful facility and the delights of spiritual labours, it would have abandoned them, and would have thrown aside the work of its salvation. But now God, the Most Wise and Merciful Father, sometimes lightens and sweetens our spiritual burden, sometimes makes it heavier for our trial, to teach us patience, and to weaken our crafty, destructive flesh, wisely changing the one by the other; and the work of our salvation, thank God, is thus always made possible— not too difficult, and very often pleasant to us.

How inexpressibly sad it is to see that on the Lord’s festivals the enemy collects his tax — and an exceedingly great one it is —from Christians! And the greater the festival the heavier the tax that Christians pay the enemy; for what do we see on the festivals? Perfect idleness, unbridled passions, brawls, profligacy, thefts, amusements. My God! What gratification of the flesh! What zealous service to the Devil! Are these people really Christians, redeemed by the precious Blood of the Son of God? Are we living in Christian times and not in Pagan ones? Are these men communicants of the life-giving Sacrament? Are these the same people who frequent God’s temple and pray to the Lord together with us? If they are, then for what purpose do they go to church? Evidently only from habit, and not from any attachment of a thankful heart to Christ the Saviour. Evidently they have not prayed to God; they have not drawn near to Him with their heart, but only with their lips — if they have done so at all — and thus have not entered into the spirit of the festival; in general, they do not understand the nature and the object of Christian festivals, and do not participate in them as children participate in the family festivals of their parents. How wicked are the children of that loving, good, and holy Mother, the Church! The Mother is holy — the children are sinful; the Mother is spiritual — the children are carnal; the Mother is heavenly — the children are earthly; the Mother desires to give her children eternal, spiritual blessings, instead of corruptible and transitory ones; and the children reject them and choose for themselves earthly, sinful, passing pleasures. However, besides drunkards and men given over to various vices on festivals, we meet oftener still people who have not been to church (and do not even know that it is a festival, because they have never thought about it). For such people there is only one festival —the festival of the flesh. Ah! how long will it be before we priests rise up against all the disorders that take place on the Lord’s festivals? Which of God’s priests will have the zeal of Elias, Phinehas, Isaiah, or Jeremiah, in order to rise up in the power of the Holy Ghost against all these disorders on the Lord’s festivals in the new Israel, in order to use all their powers, all their life for the glory of God— to uproot such laxity of morals amongst Christians? Lord! When shall we duly keep holy Thy festivals? When shall we comfort our holy Mother the Church by obedience to her ordinances? When shall we be imbued with her spirit? How long shall we begin the celebration of the great saving events of the Orthodox faith with the spirit and end them with the flesh? How long shall the enemy mock at the members of Christ, which Christians are? How long shall men of other faiths and religions point at us and say: “Look, these are the Christians who call themselves Orthodox. Look how they live! What sort of faith can they have in their hearts? What knowledge of their religion can they have? What kind of priests must they have? How badly they must teach the people religion! How little can they explain to them the meaning of the festivals, their object, and the purpose for which they were instituted! How little can they teach them to live according to the faith! My God! What a reproach to our Orthodox faith and to us pastors! And yet, perhaps, is not what they say of us pastors just? It is a great deal our fault that Christians do not spend the festivals as they ought. We do not unmask them, do not forbid them; we do not implore them with all forbearance and instruction to spend the festivals, and in general to live in a more Christian-like manner. We do not speak strongly enough against idleness, drunkenness, profligacy; we do not thunder in God’s Church, in God’s words, against these vices, which have taken such a terrible hold of Christians. We do not always exclude from the Holy Cup, as an example to others, those persons who are known for their drunkenness and adultery, and we thus allow these contagious and abominable vices to spread further and further; or at confession we impose too light penances upon those who deserve the severe punishment of the Church, and we do not watch as we should the fulfilment of even those penances which we lay upon them. Then, Righteous God! neither the pastors nor the flock can justify themselves before Thee. “They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.”⁴³ What will it come to at last with the existing disorder of our life? Iniquity spreads over the earth; the kingdom of the enemy grows wider. Thy Kingdom diminishes; there are but few of Thy chosen in whose hearts Thou resteth. Many are the slaves of the Devil, in whose hearts the destroyer from time immemorial dwells like a thief. What wilt Thou do unto us, Lord? The blood of Thy testament cries out from the earth, but the voice of Thy Gospel does not penetrate into the hearts of Christians. Thy commandments are neglected, the Church’s ordinances are trampled under foot. What wilt Thou do unto us, O Lord? Lord! send zealous workers into Thy vineyard, who “seek not their own,”⁴⁴ but who seek Thee, Christ. Give them the zeal of the prophets, the power and wisdom of the Apostles, so that they may day and night unwearyingly labour in the fields of the hearts of men.

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