Library › Sayings of the Fathers (Systematic Collection, Latin)

Sayings of the Fathers (Systematic Collection, Latin)

tr. Chadwick, 1958; selections

5. Part 5: Of Lust

Abba Antony said: “I reckon that the body has a natural movement within itself, which obeys the behest of the soul, a kind of passionless movement of which the body’s actions are but symptoms. And there is a second movement in the body, caused by eating and drinking, whereby the blood is heated and excited. That is why Paul said: ‘Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess,’ and again the Lord commanded his disciples in the Gospel: ‘See that your hearts be not overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness.’¹ And there is another movement which comes from the craft and envy of demons upon men who are striving to live a good life. Thus it is a help to know that there are three bodily movements—from nature, from plenty of food, and from demons.”

Abba Gerontius of Petra said: “Many people who are tempted by bodily delights, do not sin with the body but lust with the mind: they keep their bodily virginity but lust in the soul. It is good then, my beloved, to do what is written: ‘Let everyone keep a close guard upon his heart.’”²

2A. Abba John the Short said: “The man who eats his fill or talks with a child has already lusted in his mind.”

Abba Cassian said:³ “Abba Moses told us: ‘It is good not to hide the thoughts but to disclose them to discreet and devout old men; but not to men who are old merely in years, for many have found final despair instead of comfort by confessing to men whom they saw to be aged, but who in fact were inexperienced.’”

There was once a brother exceeding careful about seeking goodness.⁴ And being sore troubled by the demon of lust, he came to an old man and told him his thoughts. The old man was inexperienced: and when he heard, he was indignant, and said he was a wicked brother, unworthy of his monk’s habit, because he conceived thoughts like that. When the brother heard this, he despaired of himself, and left his cell, and started on his way back to the world. But by God’s providence, Abba Apollos met him. And seeing him disturbed and melancholy, he asked him: “Son, why are you so sad?” The brother, much embarrassed, at first said not a word. But when the old man pressed him to say what was happening to him, he confessed, and said: “It is because lustful thoughts trouble me. I confessed them to that old man, and he says I now have no hope of salvation. So I am desperate at myself, and am on my way back to the world.” When Father Apollos heard this, he went on asking questions like a wise doctor, and advised him thus: “Do not be cast down, son, nor despair of yourself. Even at my age and experience of the spiritual life, I am still sorely troubled by thoughts like yours. Do not fail at this point, because this trouble cannot be cured by our efforts, but only by God’s mercy. Grant me what I ask, just today, and go back to your cell.”

The brother obeyed him. But Abba Apollos went away to the cell of the old man who had made him desperate. He stood outside the cell, and prayed the Lord with tears, and said: “Lord, who allowest men to be tempted for their good, transfer the war which that brother is suffering to this old man: let him learn by experience in his old age what many years have not taught him, and so let him find out how to sympathize with people undergoing this kind of temptation.” And as soon as he ended his prayer, he saw a negro standing by the cell firing arrows at the old man. As though stricken, he began to totter and lurch like a drunken man. And when he could bear it no longer, he came out of his cell, and set out on the same road by which the young man started to return to the world. Abba Apollos understood what had happened, and met him. He approached him, and said: “Where are you going? And why are you so troubled within?” The old man, seeing that the holy Apollos understood what had happened, was ashamed and said nothing. But Abba Apollos said to him: “Return to your cell, and see your own weakness in another, and keep your own heart. For either you were ignorant of the devil in spite of your age, or you were contemptuous, and did not deserve to struggle for strength with the devil as all other men must. But struggle is not the right word, when you could not stand up to his attack for one day. This has happened to you because of the young man. He came to you because he was being attacked by the common enemy of us all. You ought to have given him words of consolation to help him against the devil’s attack. But instead you drove him to despair. You did not remember the wise man’s saying, whereby we are ordered to deliver the men who are drawn towards death, and not forbear to redeem men ready to be killed. You did not remember our Saviour’s parable: ‘You should not break the bruised reed, nor quench the smoking flax.’ Not a single person could endure the enemy’s clever attack, nor quench, nor control the leaping fire natural to the body, unless God’s grace preserved us in our weakness. In all our prayers we should pray for his grace to save us, so that he may turn aside the scourge aimed even at you. For he makes a man to grieve, and then lifts him up to salvation: he strikes, and his hand heals: he humbles and exalts, mortifies and enlivens: leads to hell and brings back from hell.”⁵

So saying, Abba Apollos prayed again, and at once the old man was freed from his inner war. Abba Apollos urged him to ask God to give him the tongue of the learned, to know the time when it is best to speak.

When Abba Cyrus of Alexandria was asked about the temptation of lust, he said: “If you are not tempted, you have no hope: if you are not tempted, it is because you are used to sinning. The man who does not fight sin at the stage of temptation, sins in his body. And the man who sins in his body has no trouble from temptation.”

An old man asked a brother: “Do you often talk with a woman?” And the brother said: “No.” And he went on: “My temptations come from painters old and new, memories of mine which trouble me with their pictures of women.” But the old man said to him: “Fear not the dead, but flee the living—flee from assenting to sin or committing sin, and take a longer time over your prayers.”

Abba Mathois used to say that a brother came and declared that the slanderer was worse than the fornicator. And he replied: “This is a hard saying.” Then the brother said to him: “How do you want to reckon the matter?” And the old man said: “Slander is bad, but it is curable quickly; the slanderer can do penitence and say ‘I have spoken ill,’ and it is over. But lust is essential death.”

Abba Poemen said: “As a bodyguard is always standing by to protect the Emperor, so the soul ought ever to be ready for the demon of lust.”

A brother once came to Abba Poemen, and said to him: “What am I to do, Father? I am wretched with lust. And I went to Abba Hybistion, and he told me: ‘You ought not to let it dwell in you longer.’” Abba Poemen said to him: “Abba Hybistion lives like the angels above, and he knows not these things. But you and I are in lust. If the monk controls his stomach and his tongue, and stays in solitude, he can trust that he is not dying.”

They said of the Abbess Sarah that for thirteen years she was fiercely attacked by the demon of lust. And she never prayed that the battle should be stayed. But she used to say only this: “Lord, grant me strength.”

They also said of her that the same demon of lust was once attacking her menacingly, and tempting her with vain thought of the world. But she kept fearing God in her soul and maintained the rigour of her fasting. And once when she climbed up on the roof to pray, the spirit of lust appeared to her in a bodily form and said to her: “You have beaten me, Sarah.” But she replied: “It is not I who have beaten you, but my Lord the Christ.”

A brother was goaded by lust and the lust was like a fire burning day and night in his heart. But he struggled on, not coming to meet his temptation nor consenting to it. And after a long time, the goad left him, annihilated by his perseverance. And at once light appeared in his heart.

Another brother was goaded by lust. He rose up in the night and went to tell his temptations to an old man, and the old man consoled him. So he returned, comforted to his cell. But again the spirit of lust tempted him. And a second time he went to the old man. This happened several times. The old man did not reproach him, but spoke words to his profit: “Yield not to the devil, and guard your soul. Whenever the demon troubles you, come to me, and rebuke him, and so he will go away. Nothing troubles the demon of lust more than disclosure of his pricks. Nothing pleases him more than the concealment of the temptation.”

Eleven times the brother went to the old man, and blamed himself for his imaginings. And then the brother said to the old man: “Of thy charity, Abba, speak to me a word.” The old man said to him: “Believe me, my son, if God allowed the imaginings which goad me to be passed to you, you would not bear them but would be utterly destroyed.” And so by his words and deep humility, that brother found rest from the goad of lust.

Another brother was goaded by lust. He began to struggle and prolong his fast, and for fourteen years he guarded himself against temptation and did not consent. Afterwards he came to church and disclosed to the whole congregation what he was suffering. And a decree was made, and for a week they all afflicted themselves on his behalf, praying God continually; and so his goad was stayed.

An old hermit said about the temptation to lust: “Sloth, do you want to be saved? Go, and discipline yourself, go, ‘seek, and ye shall find’: watch, ‘Knock and it shall be opened to you.’ In the world there are boxers who are hard hit and yet stand firm and receive crowns. Sometimes one is set upon by two, and their blows lend him strength so that he overcomes them. Have you seen what strength exercise brings? Do you also stand, and be strong: and the Lord defeats your enemy for you.”

On this same temptation, another old man said: “You should be like a man walking along the street past an inn, and sniffing the smell of meat frying or roasting. Anyone who likes goes in and eats. People who do not want it, pass by and only sniff the smell. So you ought to put the smell away from you; rise, and pray ‘Lord, Son of God, help me.’ Do this against other temptations. We cannot make temptations vanish, but we can struggle against them.”

Another old man said: “We suffer this through negligence. If we remember that God dwells in us, we shall never bring into ourselves a vessel that is not his. The Lord Christ abides in us and with us, and watches our life. And because we bear him with us and contemplate him, we ought not to be negligent but ought to make ourselves holy as he is holy. If we stand upon a rock, the wicked one will be broken. Do not be afraid, and he will do nothing against you. And pray with courage this psalm: ‘They that trust in the Lord are like Mount Sion; they that dwell in Jerusalem shall stand fast for ever.’”⁶

A brother asked an old man: “If a monk falls to sin, he is punished like a person who has fallen from a higher state to a lower, and is in travail until he rises again. But he who comes from the world, is like a beginner advancing to a higher state.” And the old man replied: “A monk falling into temptation is like a collapsing house. If he is a serious and sober person, he rebuilds the ruined house. He finds the right materials for building, lays foundations, and collects stone and sand, and all the other needful things, and so his building rapidly grows higher. But the builder who did not dig or lay foundations, and has none of the right materials, goes away hoping that some day the house will be built. So if the monk falls into temptation, and turns to the Lord, he has the best equipment—meditation on the law of God, psalmody, work with his hands, prayer, and the others—foundations of his building. The novice will find himself low down on the ladder of religion until he learns all these.”

A brother, held in the grip of lust, went to a great old man and asked him: “Of your charity, pray for me: for I am troubled by lust.” The old man prayed to the Lord. And he came a second time to the old man and said the same: and again the old man was careful to beseech the Lord on his behalf, and said: “Lord, show me why the devil is doing this work in that brother. I prayed to you, but he has not yet found rest.” And the Lord revealed to him what was happening to that brother. And he saw the brother sitting down, and the spirit of lust near him and, so to speak, playing with him: and an angel was standing near to help him and was frowning upon that brother because he did not throw himself upon God, but took a pleasure in his thoughts, and turned his mind towards them. And the old man saw that the chief cause was in the brother himself. And he said to him: “You are dallying with your thought.” And he taught him how to resist thoughts like this. And the brother’s soul revived under the old man’s teaching and prayer, and he found rest from his temptation.

Once the disciple of a great old man was tempted by lust. When the old man saw him struggling, he said: “Do you want me to ask the Lord to release you from your trouble?” But he said: “Abba, I see that although it is a painful struggle, I am profiting from having to carry the burden. But ask God in your prayers, that he will give me long-suffering, to enable me to endure.” Then his Abba said to him: “Now I know that you are far advanced, my son, and beyond me.”

They said of an old man that he went down to Scete taking his infant son with him. The boy, being brought up among the monks, did not know what women were. When he became a man, the demons showed him visions of women at night. And he told his father, and he wondered. And once they both went into Egypt and saw women. And the son said: “Abba, there are the people who came to me during the night in Scete.” And his father said: “These are monks from the world, my son. They use one kind of dress, and hermits another.” And the old man marvelled that the demons should show him visions of women in Scete, and they both went straight back to their cell.

A brother was tested by temptation in Scete. And the enemy sent to his soul the memory of a fair woman, and troubled him sorely. And by God’s providence it chanced that another brother came down from Egypt and arrived in Scete. And when they met to talk, he told him that his wife was dead (she was the woman about whom he was being disturbed). When he heard the news, he put on his cloak in the night and went to the place where he had heard she was buried. And he dug the place, and wiped the blood of her corpse on his cloak, and kept it in his cell when he returned. And when it smelt too much, he put it in front of him and hurriedly said to his temptation: “Look, this is what you desire. You have it now, fill yourself.” And so he chastised himself with the smell until his passions died down.

A man once came to Scete to become a monk. And he brought with him his infant son, who had been lately weaned. When the child grew to be a young man, the demons began to attack him and trouble him. And he said to his father: “I am going back to the world, because I cannot bear these bodily passions.” His father comforted him: but the youth said: “I cannot endure any longer, father. Let me go back to the world.” His father said to him: “Listen just this once to me, my son. Take forty loaves, and palm leaves for forty days, and go to the inner desert, and stay there forty days—and God’s will be done.” He obeyed his father, and rose and went into the desert, and remained there, making plaits from the dry palm leaves and eating dry bread. And after he had been there twenty days, he saw the demon coming against him. There stood before him a person like a negro woman, ill-smelling and ugly. He could not bear her smell and thrust her from him. And she said to him: “I am she who seems sweet in the hearts of men. But because of your obedience and travail, God has not let me seduce you, but has shown you my ill-favour.” He rose, and thanked God, and came to his father, and said: “Now I do not want to go to the world, father. I have seen the devil’s work, and his foulness.” But his father also knew what had happened, and said: “If you had stayed there forty days, and kept my command right to the end, you would have seen still greater things.”

An old man was once living far out in the desert. A woman of his kinsfolk wanted to see him after so many years, and enquired where he was living, and rose and came on the road to that desert. And finding camel-drivers, she joined them and came with them into the desert. For she was being drawn onward by the devil. When she reached the old man’s door, she began to knock and say who she was—“I am your kin;” and she stayed with him.

But another monk was living nearer to Egypt. He filled his vessel with water at his supper time. And suddenly the vessel was upset, and the water spilt. And by God’s inspiration he said to himself: “I will go to the desert, and tell the elders what happened to this water.” And he rose and went. And at evening he slept in a heathen temple by the roadside, and during the night he heard demons saying: “Tonight we have driven yonder monk to lust.” And when he heard this, he was saddened. And he came to the old man, and found him sad, and said to him: “What am I to do, Abba? I filled my jug with water, and at supper-time it was spilt.” And the old man said to him: “You have come to ask me why your vessel was upset. But what am I to do?—for last night I fell to lusting.” And he replied: “I knew it.” And the old man said: “How did you know?” And he said: “I was sleeping in a temple, and I heard demons talking about you.” And the old man said: “Look, I am going to the world.” But he besought him, “Do not go, father, stay here in your cell. But send the woman away. This has happened because the enemy attacked you.” When the old man heard this, he endured and made his way of life more penitential and sorrowful, until he returned to his earlier state.

An old man said: “Chastity is born of serenity, and silence, and secret meditation.”

A brother asked an old man: “If a man happens to fall into temptation, what becomes of those who are led to stumble by it?” And the old man told this story. “In a monastery in Egypt was a deacon. And an official, persecuted by a judge, came with all his family to that monastery. And by the devil’s instigation, that deacon came in to his wife, and all the brothers were disturbed. But he went away to an old man, and told him what had happened. Now the old man had a secret inner room to his cell. When the deacon saw this, he said: ‘Bury me alive here, and tell no one.’ And he hid in that inner room, and there did true penitence.

But a long time after, it happened that the Nile failed to flood. And when they were all making litanies, it was revealed to one of those holy men that unless the deacon who had hidden with such and such a monk, should return, the water would not rise. When they heard this, they marvelled, and they came and hurriedly brought him out of his hiding-place. And he prayed, and the water rose. And the men who had before been scandalized at him, were now edified by his penitence, and glorified God.”

Two brothers went to a town to sell what they had made. In the town they separated, and one of them fell into fornication. Afterwards the other brother said: “Let us go back to our cell, brother.” But he replied: “I am not coming.” And the other asked him: “Why, brother?” And he replied: “Because when you left me, I met temptation, and was guilty of fornication.” The other, wanting to help him, said: “It happened also to me: after I left you, I also fell into fornication. Let us go together, and do penance with all our might, and God will pardon us sinners.” When they returned to their cell, they told the elders what had happened to them, and were instructed what penance they should do. But the one did penance not for himself, but for the other, as though he himself had sinned. God, seeing his earnestness and his charity, disclosed to one of the elders, a few days later, that he had forgiven the fornicator because of the charity of the brother who had not sinned. Truly, this was to lay down his soul for his brother.

Once a brother came to an old man and said: “My brother keeps leaving me, and goes travelling everywhere: and I am suffering for it.” And the old man besought him: “Bear it calmly, brother. And God will see your earnestness and endurance, and will bring him back to you. It is not possible for a man to be recalled from his purpose by harshness and severity—demon cannot drive out demon: you will bring him back to you better by kindness. That is how God acts for our good, and draws us to himself.”

And he told him this story: “In the Thebaid were two brothers. And when one of them began to lust, he said to the other: ‘I am going back to the world.’ The other wept and said: ‘I am not letting you go away, my brother, to lose your toil and your chastity.’ But he refused and said: ‘I am not staying here: I am going. Either come with me, and I will return with you, or let me go, and let me remain in the world.’ The brothers came and told this to a great old man. And the old man said to him: ‘Go with him, and because of your effort, God will not let him perish.’ So he rose and went with him to the world. And when they came to a village, God looked on the efforts of him who followed his brother out of charity and need, and took away that brother’s passion. And he said to his brother: ‘Let us go back to the desert, my brother. Look, I imagine that I have already sinned with a woman. And what gain have I from that?’ And they returned to their cell unharmed.”

A brother, being tempted by a demon, went to an old man and said: “Those two monks over there who live together, live wickedly.” But the old man knew that a demon was playing with him, and he sent and called them to him. And at evening he put a mat for them, and covered them with a single blanket, and said: “They are sons of God, and holy persons.” But he said to his disciple: “Shut this slandering brother up in a cell by himself: he is suffering from the passions of which he accuses them.”

A brother said to an old man: “What am I to do, for these foul thoughts are killing me?” The old man said to him: “When a mother wants to wean her baby, she smears something bitter on her breasts: and when the infant comes as usual to suckle, he tastes the bitterness and is repelled. So you ought to put a bitterness into your thought.” The brother said to him: “What bitterness is this?” The old man said to him: “The thought of death and torment, which is prepared in the next world for sinners.”

A brother asked an old man about thoughts of this kind. And the old man said: “I have never been goaded by it.” And the brother was scandalized at him, and went to a second old man and said: “Look, that old man said this to me and has scandalized me, because it is unnatural.” The old man said to him: “The meaning of the words of that man of God is not upon the surface. Rise up, go and be penitent to him, and he will disclose to you the power in his words.” So the brother rose and came to the old man, and was penitent to him. And he said: “Forgive me, father, that I was a fool, and did not bid you goodbye when I left. But I beg you, explain to me how it is that you are untroubled by lust.” The old man said to him: “It is because, ever since I became a monk, I have never taken my fill of bread, or water, or sleep; and because I am tormented by desire for food, I cannot feel the pricks of lust.” And the brother went away, taking profit from the words of the old man.

A brother asked an old man: “What am I to do? My mind is ever thinking about fornication; and lets me not rest even for an hour, and my soul is suffering.” But the old man said to him: “When the demons sow thoughts in your heart, and you feel this, do not hold converse with your soul, for that is the demons’ suggestion. Though the demons are careful to send in thoughts, they do not force you. It is yours to receive or reject. Do you know what the Midianites did? They adorned their daughters, and set them where the Israelites could see them: yet they did not force them to intermingle, but as each one wished. But others were wrathful and uttered threats, and avenged the act of whoredom with the death of those who had dared it. This is what should be done with the lust that rises in the mind.” But the brother replied: “And what am I to do, in that I am frail, and this passion masters me?” And the old man said: “Be earnest in this way. When they start to speak in your heart, do not answer them. But rise up, pray, do penance, and say ‘Son of God, have mercy upon me.’” But the brother said to him: “Look, Abba, I meditate, and there is no penitence in my heart, for I do not know the meaning of the words on which I meditate.” And the old man said: “Yet, go on meditating. I have heard that Abba Poemen and other fathers said this: ‘The snake-charmer knows not the meaning of his words: but the snake hears them, and knows their meaning, and obeys the charmer, and lies down. So though we know not the meaning of what we say, the demons hear, and are fearful, and flee.’”

An old man used to say: “A lustful thought is brittle like papyrus. If it is thrust into us, and we do not accept it but cast it from us, it is broken easily. If it casts its sweetness over us and we dally with it, it is as difficult to break as iron. So we need a discrimination of mind, to know that men who consent lose their hopes of salvation: and for men who do not consent, a crown is laid up.”

Two brothers, who were attacked by lust, went away and married wives. Afterwards they said to each other: “What have we gained that we have ceased to live like angels, and have come to impurity, and later will come to fire and torment? Let us go back to the desert, and do penance for our fault.” And they came to the desert, and asked the fathers to accept them as penitents, and confessed what they had done. And the elders shut them up for a whole year, and gave them each an equal measure of bread and water. Now they were alike in appearance. And at the end of the year’s penance, they came out. And the fathers saw that one looked pale and melancholy, the other looked strong and bright. And they were astonished, for each had had the same quantity of food and drink. And they asked the man who was sad and troubled: “What were you doing with your thoughts in that cell?” And he said: “I was turning over in my mind the punishment I shall incur for the evil I have done, and I was so afraid that my bones cleaved to my flesh.” And they asked the other: “What were you thinking about in your cell?” And he said: “I was thanking God that he had delivered me from the pollution of this world and the punishment of the next, and has called me back to live here like the angels: and as I thought continually upon my God, I was glad.” And the old men said: “The penitence of both men is equal before God.”

In Scete there was an old man who became gravely ill, and was nursed by the brothers. When the old man saw how much they did for him, he said: “I am going to Egypt, and then I shall not be a trouble to these brothers.” And Abba Moses said to him: “Don’t go: you will run into lust.” But the old man was vexed, and said: “My body is dead. How can you say that to me?” So he rose and went to Egypt.

When the surrounding inhabitants in Egypt heard that he had arrived, they brought him many gifts. And a devout maiden came to him, wishing to minister to him because he was sick. And after a short time he recovered somewhat from the illness which had gripped him, and he came to her, and she conceived. And when her neighbours asked her, who was the father, she said: “This old man.” But they did not believe her. Then the old man said: “It is I who am the father. Keep for me the baby when it is born.” And when the baby had been weaned, the old man carried it on his shoulders, and arrived at Scete on a feast day, and went into church in front of the whole congregation. When they saw him, they wept. And he said to the brothers: “Do you see this baby? He is the child of disobedience. Beware, my brothers, remember what I have done though I am old, and pray for me.” And going to his cell, he returned to his earlier way of life.

A brother was grievously tempted by the demons of fornication. Four demons appeared before him like beautiful women, and attacked him continuously for forty days. But he fought like a man, and was unconquered. And God, seeing his good struggle, granted that he should no more suffer the sting of bodily passion.

In lower Egypt there was a very famous hermit, who lived alone in his cell. And it happened that by Satan’s wiles a harlot heard of him, and said to the young men: “What will you give me, if I ruin that hermit?” They agreed to give her a present. At evening she went out and came to his cell like a person who had lost her way. When she knocked at his door, he came out. And seeing her, he was troubled, and said: “How have you come here?” She pretended to weep, and said: “I lost my way.” He felt truly sorry for her, and led her into the little courtyard of his cell, and himself went to the inner room of his cell and shut the door. And she cried aloud in woe: “Abba, the beasts will eat me here.” Again he was troubled, and afraid of the judgement of God; and he said: “Why has God’s wrath come upon me thus?” And he opened the door and brought her inside.

Then the devil began to goad his heart to want her. He knew that it was the devil’s goading, and said silently: “The ways of the enemy are darkness: but the Son of God is light.” He rose, and lit the lamp. And when he began to burn with desire, he said: “People who do things like this go into torment. Test yourself, and see whether you can bear a fire which is everlasting.” And he put his finger in the flame of the lamp. And he burnt it: but he did not feel the pain because of the fire of passion within him. And so, until the dawn came he burnt his fingers one after the other.

The wretched woman saw what he was doing, and in her fear lay still as a stone. And at dawn the young men came to the monk and said: “Did a woman come here yesterday evening?” He said: “Yes, she is asleep over there.” And they went in, and found her dead. And they said: “Abba, she is dead.” Then he turned back the cloak which he was wearing, and showed them his hands, and said: “Look what that child of the devil has done to me. She has cost me every finger I possess.” And he told what had happened, and said: “It is written, Render not evil for evil.” And he prayed, and raised her up. She was converted, and lived chastely for the rest of her days.

A brother was assailed by lust. By chance he came to a village in Egypt, and saw the daughter of the heathen priest there, and greatly loved her. And he said to her father: “Give her to be my wife.” He answered: “I cannot give her to you until I have besought my god.” And he went to the demon whom he served and said: “Here is a monk wanting to marry my daughter. Do I give her to him?” The demon answered: “Ask him if he denies his God, and his baptism, and his monastic vow.” And the priest came and said to the monk: “If you deny your God, and your baptism, and your monastic vow, I will give you my daughter.” The monk agreed. And at once he saw something like a dove fly out of his mouth and up into the sky. Then the priest went to the demon and said: “He has promised to do the three things you said.” Then the devil answered: “Do not give your daughter to be his wife, for his God has not left him, but will yet help him.” And the priest went back and said to the monk: “I cannot give her to you, because your God is still helping you, and has not left you.”

When the monk heard this, he said in himself: “If God has shown me such kindness, though like a wretch I have denied him, and my baptism and my monastic vow, if God is so good that he still helps me though I am wicked, why am I running away from him?” And he was restored to his right and sober mind, and came into the desert to a great old man, and told him what had happened. And the old man replied: “Stay with me in this cave, and fast for three weeks, and I will pray God for you.” And the old man travailed on behalf of the brother, and prayed God thus: “I beseech thee, O Lord, grant me this soul, and accept its penitence.”

And God heard his prayer. At the end of the first week, the old man came to the brother and asked: “Have you seen any thing?” And the brother replied: “Yes, I saw a dove above in the sky over my head.” And the old man answered: “Look to your heart, and pray God earnestly.” After the second week the old man came again to the brother, and asked him: “Have you seen anything?” And he replied: “I have seen a dove coming down by my head.” and the old man charged him: “Pray, and pray seriously.” And at the end of the third week, the old man came again and asked him: “Have you seen anything else?” And he answered: “I saw a dove and it came and sat on my head, and I stretched out my hand to catch it, and it entered my mouth.”

And the older man thanked God, and said to the brother: “Look, God has accepted your penitence. In future be careful, and on your guard.” And the brother answered: “See, I will stay with you now, until I die.”

One of the old men in the Thebaid used to say that he was the son of a heathen priest, and that as a little boy he had often seen his father go into the temple and sacrifice to the idol. And once, when he had crept in secretly, he had seen Satan on his throne, and his host standing around: and one of his chieftains came and adored him. And the devil said: “Where have you come from?” And he answered: “I was in such and such a province, and there I stirred wars and riots, and much blood was spilt, and I have come to tell you.” And the devil asked him: “How long did it take you?” And he answered: “A month.” Then the devil said: “Did you take so long over it?” and ordered him to be beaten.

Then a second came to adore him. And the devil said to him: “Where have you been?” And the demon replied: “I was in the sea, and I raised storms, and sunk ships, and drowned many, and have come to tell you.” And the devil said: “How long did it take you?” And he answered: “Twenty days.” And the devil said: “Why did you take so long over this one task?” and ordered him also to be flogged.

Then a third came and adored him. And the devil said to him: “Where have you been?” And he answered: “I was in such and such a city: and during a wedding I stirred up quarrelling until the parties came to bloody blows, and in the end even the husband was killed, and I have come to tell you.” And the devil said: “How long did it take you?” And he answered: “Ten days.” The devil commanded him also to be flogged because he had been idle.

Another came to adore him, and he said: “Where have you been?” And he answered: “I was in the desert: and for forty years I have been attacking one monk. And at last in the night, I prevailed, to make him lust.” When the devil heard this, he rose, and kissed him. And taking off his own crown, he put it on his head, and made him sit with him on a throne, and said: “You have been brave, and done a great deed.”

“When I heard and saw this, I said within myself: ‘Great indeed is the discipline of the monks’. And so it pleased God to grant me salvation: and I went out, and became a holy monk.”

They said this of a father, that he had been a man who lived in the world, and had turned to God, but was still goaded by desire for his wife; and he told this to the fathers. When they saw him to be a true labourer, one who did more than his duty, they laid on him a course of discipline which so weakened his body that he could not stand up. By God’s providence a father came to visit Scete. And when he came to this man’s cell, he saw it open, and he passed on, surprised that no one came to meet him. But then he thought that perhaps the brother inside was ill, and returned, and knocked on the door. And after knocking, he went in, and found the monk gravely ill. And he said: “What’s the matter, father?” And he told him: “I was living in the world, and the enemy still troubles me because of my wife. And I told the fathers, and they laid upon me various burdens to discipline my life. And in trying to carry them out obediently, I have fallen ill—and yet the goad is worse.” When the old man heard this, he was vexed, and said: “The fathers are powerful men, and did well in laying these burdens upon you. But if you will listen to me who am but a child in these matters, stop all this discipline, take a little food at the proper times, recover your strength, join in the worship of God for a little, and turn your mind to the Lord—for this is a thing you cannot conquer by your own efforts. The human body is like a coat. If you treat it carefully, it will last a long time. If you neglect it, it will fall into tatters.”

The sick man did as he was told, and in a few days the incitement to lust vanished.

A very old hermit, of saintly life, lived on a mountain near Antinoë, and helped many people towards sanctity by his teaching and example—so I have been told by well-known monks. And because he was saintly, the devil was stirred to envy him, as he envies all men of true goodness. And the devil sent into his heart the thought that if he was really the man he wanted to be, he ought not to let others minister to his needs, but himself ought to be ministering to them: or at least, if he could not minister to the needs of others, he ought to minister to his own needs. So he said: “Go to the town and sell the baskets you are making, and buy what you need, and come back to your cell, and so be a burden to no one.” But the devil suggested this because he envied his quietness and his opportunity of leisure to hear God, and the good which he did to so many people. All round him the enemy was scurrying, hurling at him, trying to capture him.

He assented to what he believed a good thought, and came down from his hermitage. And everyone admired him and recognized him when they saw him, but did not know that he was entangled in the devil’s net. And after a long time he saw a woman. And because he was being careless, he was overthrown, and came to her. And he went into a desert place, with the devil at his heels, and fell down by a river. And he thought that the enemy rejoiced at his ruin, and wanted to despair, because he had sorely grieved the Spirit of God, and the holy angels, and the venerable fathers, many of whom had overcome the devil though they lived in towns. And because he could not become like them, he was utterly downcast; and he forgot that God is a God who gives strength to them who devoutly turn to him. Blinded, and not seeing how to cure his sin, he wanted to throw himself in the river, and fill the enemy’s cup to overflowing. In the agony of his soul, his body began to sicken. And unless God in his mercy had helped him, he would have died impenitent, to the perfect satisfaction of the enemy.

But at the last moment he found his right mind again. He resolved to inflict a severe penance upon himself, and pray to God in sorrow and grief: and in this mind he went back to his cell. He marked the door of his cell in the usual way to show that the man inside was dead, and so he wept and prayed to God. He fasted, and watched, and became thin with his austerity; and still he did not think he had made fit penance or satisfaction. When the brothers came to him to be taught, and knocked at the door, he said that he could not open it—“I am bound by an oath to do penance for a whole year devoutly. Pray for me.” When they heard this, they were scandalized, because they believed him to be truly honourable and great: but he found no means of explaining himself to them.

For a whole year he fasted rigidly, and did penance. On Easter Eve, he took a new lamp and put it on a new pot, and covered it with a lid. At evening he stood up to pray, and said: “Merciful, pitying Lord, who willest that barbarians be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth: I flee to thee, the Saviour of the faithful. Have mercy upon me that I moved thee to anger, that I made the enemy happy: here am I, dead, but obedient to thee. Thou, Lord, who pitiest even the wicked, even the pitiless, thou who commanded us to show mercy to our neighbours, have mercy upon me humbled before thee. With thee nothing is impossible: for in the mouth of hell my soul was scattered like dust. Have pity on thy creation, because thou art kind and merciful, thou who wilt on the day of the resurrection raise up even bodies that are not. Hear me, O Lord, for my spirit has failed, and my soul is wretched. I have polluted my body, and now I cannot live, because I did not believe. Look at my penitence and forgive my sin, a sin that was double because I despaired. Send life into me, for I am contrite: and light this lamp with thy fire. So I may be enabled to receive confidence in thy mercy and pardon, to keep thy commandments, to remain in thy fear, to serve thee more faithfully than before, for the rest of the span of life which thou hast allotted to me.”

On the night of Easter Eve he prayed thus and wept. And he rose to see if the lamp were lit. When he took off the lid, he saw that it was unlit. And again he fell on his face and besought God: “I know, O God, that when I struggled for my crown, I did not stand on my feet, but rather chose the pleasures of the body and so the punishment of the wicked. Spare me then, Lord. Here am I: again I confess my disgrace to thee, who art goodness, and in the presence of thy angels, and of all just men, I would confess it to all mankind, if I should not cause them thereby to stumble. Lord, have mercy upon me, and I will teach others: Lord, send life into me.”

When he had prayed three times, God heard his prayer. He rose up and found the lamp burning brightly. And his heart leapt with hope, and happiness, and he worshipped God’s grace who had thus forgiven his sins, and answered his soul’s prayer. And he said: “I thank thee, O Lord, that thou hast pitied me who am unworthy to live in this world, and hast given me confidence by this great new sign of thy power; thou art merciful to spare the souls which thou createst.”

He was still praying thus when the dawn came. And forgetting his need for food, he rejoiced in the Lord. All his life he kept that lamp alight, pouring in oil from the top to prevent it going out. And so, once again, God’s Spirit dwelt within him, and he was famous among all the monks, and showed humility and joy in his praise and thanksgiving to God. A few days before his death it was revealed to him how he should pass to another life.

Previous · Contents · Next